Muslim Dad + Catholic Mom? No Problem!

(cover photo free from Unsplash | Milada Vigerova)

Deciding about whether to support a supposedly unifying idea (but has caused nothing but divisiveness among humans) or not is hard, especially if it is for your child. Religions' origin simply stemmed from uniting people into one faith and becoming good and faithful citizens. However, human nature prevents us from absorbing that supposedly hollistic experience. People will always want their choices to be the better choice. I also thought about raising Naima in an interfaith family, but celebrating both Islam and Christianity in one household, although ideal, will be hard and most of the time contradicting each other (Islam having ONE God who is Allah, and Allah has no son while Christianity believes that God co-exists with three important beings – the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit)

Both are supposedly peaceful, faithful and kind religions but our society’s actions barely support that. We considered allowing her to practice no religion until she is 18. However, upon deliberation, we both agreed that Religion and Kids mix. Faith is very important in raising a child. Nonetheless, she can choose not to practice or shift when she’s 18.

So how did we come up with a decision?

It was a very quick yet painful chat. We both presented why we should raise her in both religions, and here are some of the arguments. We were actually surprised when we discussed it. Apparently, the status quo and societal truths are harder to express verbally.

Do we want to raise her supporting a specific Religion?

This was, of course, the first question. I stopped practicing my religion 10 years ago. The occasional church visits during important holidays remain, though. I believe that faith does not need a venue. I believe that kindness is the most important Act of God, and you can practice this anywhere, anytime of the day. Addressing whether it is vital or not. We both agreed that ALL religions are good, and were created for goodness. It’s just that our human side is always getting in the way, the imperfect human. We agreed that religions teach kids a lot of things that we as parents, the school, and society may not – Faith.

Faith taught us a lot of things growing up. Faith is both a feeling and action; it is rooted in our minds but expressed by our hearts. It helps us hope for the better beyond what being intelligent can give us. We act in faith when there’s uncertainty, and life is full of it. It is faith that helps us get through the ugliness of the world. Faith that humans can be kind, loving and caring. It is also faith that teaches us to believe in ourselves. When there is a cloud of doubt hovering, faith helps us move to the brighter side, move on and just believe. Though faith is much associated with religion, later on in our lives, it stems out to different kinds and different levels of faith. We believe that it is a very important value to teach young kids. We as humans have limitations. Whether we want to admit it or not, our religions had a huge impact to what we are now.

Why Catholic?

We really didn’t want to impose our religions to her. Unlike Nationality, Religions have a personal baggage, it carries out beliefs associated to your chosen faith to you, personally. Indoctrinating our Religion to a child is bad enough, but didn’t we all? We did not choose our religion. In fact, our parents did. But the bright side is, we have a choice to deviate. And I am leaving that option open. But why the decision? Islamic upbringing does not devalue your child. In fact, they are the most faithful & kind religion I have seen. They REALLY practice the Qu’ran. And most of the time, I envy that. Sadly, some Catholics have been an overzealous bunch who contradict Catholic teachings, sometimes right after a massive procession or right when they step off the Church gates. However, the truth behind our decision is related to where we are raising her. We plan on raising her here in the Philippines, a predominantly Catholic country. It might be easier for her and for us to explain matters of faith when there’s a society around you that supports it. Because we believe that both religions are good, and want you to be good, it didn’t matter to Kenan which one we choose. What’s important for us is she learns the most important values that all Religions teach us. At the end of it all, religion on paper is just a symbolism. We can change it anytime we want, especially if does not coincide with our personal beliefs anymore.

The Truth About Islam and their Wives

When people found out that Kenan is Muslim, they immediately said these non-sense notions such as, “Oh, you’re okay with the possibility that he will have another wife?” or “So you are going to convert?” I wanted to laugh and call out their ignorance but I cannot blame them, in the Philippines when you say Muslim from another country, they think “Arab”, who don’t really have the best reputation here and everywhere. Majority of Muslims are divided into two sects: Sunni and Shiites. Gulf Countries (Saudi, Bahrain, UAE) are Sunni. The rest of are Shiite. The truth about Polygyny is that it is not practiced by all countries. Some Muslim dominated countries follow their Government sectors and some follow their religion. LUCKILY, Turkey is the FIRST Muslim country to ban polygyny in 1928. Followed by Tunisia and Israel. Until now, their daily lives are ruled by the Government Laws and not their Religious Laws. Egypt, India, Algeria, Morocco, Bangladesh, Iraq, Iran, Kuwait and Lebanon are some countries that also restrict Polygyny – meaning they can restrict it and put it in their marriage contracts.

Co-habiting with a Non-Muslim Female

Though Modern practitioners are becoming nonchalant about the idea, some old people still care. Like his Mom. But it still depends on the country. In Malaysia, you have to convert. But in some Arab countries, Muslim men are allowed to marry a non-Muslim woman, but the former cannot marry a non-Muslim man… I KNOW. But again, luckily, Turkey allows you to marry through secular laws.

The Most Important

Whether my child chooses to deviate or not, to be honest, Religion is not the most important to us. It’s how she will grow up as an individual. Religion is not the only factor in raising a good child. It starts at home. So the challenge is more directed to us than to our faith. We agreed that we can share both Muslim and Catholic teachings with Naima, and I think that's the best compromise. I cannot express how lucky I am that I have the most understanding and open-minded partner I could ever ask for.

#muslim #christian #interfaithmarriage