Discoveries of a First Time Mom

In Motherhood, there are things that I surprisingly (slightly) didn't think I'd dig, I'd hate or I'd become no matter how much conditioning I did to myself when I was still pregnant. This can be anything from attitudes of other parents towards whatever it is you are doing and how you are raising your child down to how you take care of yourself and how appropriate your clothes are. This is not in any way meant to demean any Moms out there (because that's the reason why I'm writing this in the first place) but to help understand that as we are different from one another as individuals, we will also be different as Moms.

JUDGMENTAL JANE: MOM SUPERIORITY COMPLEX

Sure there are a lot of annoying Moms out there. There's your TMI mom, your braggart mom, the know-it-all mom, et al. If you have at least gone through pregnancy and successfully delivered a baby, you will understand why some moms become like this-- it is hard. There are things you have to give up, there are things you have to figure out on your own, situations that you have to go through alone, etc. which can be a few of the reasons why some moms become this annoying. But the one that messes with my last nerve really is the Judgmental Mom.

These types of Moms will question the way you raise your child, judge you for feeding formula, judge you for not buying a particular brand of newborn stuff, judge the way you dress up and even judge the thought of being a fit Mom. Not to mention their unsolicited condescending advise.

(image from quora.com)

As women who jus recently had a voice in this society, we should just help each other out ease our way into this new life as Moms. I wonder why that is so hard to do.

ROMANTICIZING PREGNANCY AND MOTHERHOOD

There's an unexplainable feeling when your baby kicks the first time inside your tummy or the day she smiled at you. But pregnancy and motherhood are nowhere near the romanticized social media versions. It does make other moms feel out-of-place and incapable. So, yes. Yes it is normal to have a cluttered brain after pregnancy. It is normal to question if everything that you're doing is right. It is normal to feel like

shit. Just trust yourself and minimize comparisons and you'll be fine.

(gender reveal of Naima!)

MOMS WILL ALWAYS HAVE TIME TO GO OUT; THEIR HEARTS JUST SAY OTHERWISE

Contrary to popular belief, Moms can and will always find time to catch up with their friends and the social life they left behind pre-motherhood. Take me for example, 2 weeks after my delivery, I asked my boyfriend if we can go out on a date, just us. We eventually did but an hour into it, I was already forcing him to go home because I miss my kid! On the second month after giving birth, we were supposed to leave for Hong Kong, but guess what? I ditched my flight and chose to have a wonderful time with my little one. I am not sure whether this will ever change but one thing is for sure...

YOUR CHILD WILL MAKE YOU FEEL LOVE IN ANOTHER FORM; AN UNCONDITIONAL, PROTECTIVE AND GRANDER KIND OF LOVE

When I first saw my little one, I felt like poetic lines are running through my head just by looking at her. I thought I have already experienced love but when I saw her, it was like I am capable of feeling love in a grander, selfless, unexplainably satisfying kind of love. If you thought you have experienced falling head over heels and loving a man or an ex, or your current, THAT IS NOT TRUE. Her smile can erase frowns, de-stress and forget anything bad that happened that day. Your child will be the benchmark of what love really is.

YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF BECAUSE BEING THERE FOR YOUR CHILD WILL BE THE YOUR LONG-TERM GOAL

It is said that a child's cells live on in their mother's for decades. It is believe that a child's cells even cures moms during illness. One thing is true. you and your child will always have this connection that no one, not even your husband, can feel. Your child lived inside your womb for 9 months, breastmilk that you feed her has oxytocins which strengthen your bond. Because of this connection, you will now feel that you have to be there for her in every step of the way. Your vices especially drinking will eventually cessate. The feeling of wanting to go on an extremely adventurous trip will subside.

I am sure that this list will eventually grow long. I hope to add more positive discoveries though.